Monthly Archives: October 2014





Recently in the past week I have been increasingly grateful TO MYSELF:

…for the WORK I have done that has brought me to a state of CLARITY, GRACE and COMPOSURE which affords me, upon perception of feelings of tension, pressure, heat, and of OVERFLOWING of energy, to be able to subsequently GIVE IDENTITY to these feelings as being–RATHER than an indication of things going wrong, of problems, of events causing anxiety, of being OVERLOADED and OVERWHELMED–a product of love, as my cup POURING OVER WITH FULLNESS, as opportunities for slowing down, becoming still, stable, and comfortable with the situation where I have arrived.

This grace allows me to accept all incoming events as being CUTE, SWEET, LAUGHABLE, ENTERTAINING, and SIGNS OF AFFECTION from the universe. (My computer is breaking down? How wonderful…. I get to get a new one! People are VERY “late”? Great! More time to light candles, breathe and FINISH what I was working on. I have more things “To Do” than I can see? OMG, that is the most PERFECT indication that I have arrived HERE AND NOW!!)

Surrendering to the old skin being rapidly shed, letting go of that skin… I experience sheer ECSTASY from the feeling of the scratchy friction of the skin peeling off, from the new air touching the newly exposed layer, new breath, new life, new vibrance, clear eyes.

HOW BRIGHT AND RADIANT IT IS THIS UNIVERSE!! It brings tears to my eyes to see the perfection and the connection in it all!!

❤ Alix

Q&A: On “Craving” Monogamy



The “Question”:

I’ve been in open relationships since I was 21.
Actually, I’ve mostly been dating. And having sex. And every blue moon having fast and furious open, yet not open because we’re in it so deep, but only for a short period of time, adventures.

Right now I’m confused because I’m craving a monogamous partner.

The problem is- I think I want that monogamy for safety. To make wounds from past lovers hurt less. And to feel deeply desired by someone.

So I shame my desire for monogamy because it feels like a cop out.

But, I want to ask you, if being monogamous with someone who inspires me helps cauterize my wounds. Is that ok?

Do I have to be a warrior, fighting against the grain ALL the time?

Of course, whenever we enter a relationship to heal shadow. There is a lot of shadow in the relationship.

And I don’t want that.

It’s just another rabbit hole. Creating new problems. And not healing hole that started the mess.

So that’s my share.
I want a monogamous partner, but I’m scared its for the wrong reasons.

And yes- this is all hypothetical. I don’t have a man I want to be monogamous with. But I have men im interested in that I fantasize could be “him.”
Yet… They never show up as they do in my fantasies.

Not even making the minimum requirements to be my partner.

And so it is
I’m making fun of myself for not being present and in the now.
AND knowing that gaining clarity on what I really want will manifest it

The Response:

My Dearest Priestess,

I could be wrong, but my guess is that it is probably not monogamy that you crave, but that is what you are interpreting it as based on the tools that you *see* that you have right now. (On that note, a very VERY effective way to RAPIDLY increase clarity and discrimination on the tools that we have and to bring light is CANDLE GAZING…. the more the merrier…. If you can break an hour of this, you will see UNBELIEVEABLE results… even 10 minutes helps. Make sure to close the eyes periodically and BRING INTO SHARP FOCUS for as LONG AS POSSIBLE the image of the flame that is left on the dark space behind the eyes. )

My guess is that more of what you are craving is a partner that will BE THERE for you. One that will stick around, with whom you feel that you can share your visions and fantasies, who will not react in an detached, agressive or violent manner to your cravings, but will react with pure love, who will see you as a person, as a fellow human, as a friend and will respond to your communications to him with composure, authenticity, and balance in the chakras, rather than having his decisions based from the lower-level chakras of immediate gratification. As well, someone that will OPENLY AND CONSISTENTLY AND OFTEN COMMUNICATE *HIS FANTASIES* WITH YOU.

The reason it is so easy to confuse this kind of partner with a monogamous partner is that when we enter into this kind of partnership with someone, what normal experience tells us is that “we cannot be with one person this fully and be with another person”… and to a certain degree this is TRUE, sheerly for the fact that TIME allows for only a certain number of events to take place in a day.

I am having a new experience at this moment with a new friend which addresses exactly what you are talking about from a POSITIVE standpoint. I would LOVE to talk to you about it and to share the details of this situation. Maybe we can have a skype conversation Priestess-to-Priestess one day soon? PM me if you are up for it.

Our combined ascension is what is healing the world

(I’m even envisioning group teleconferences??)

I have such an affinity for you because I saw you coming out at EXACTLY the same time as me back in 2012. (Though I took a bit of a different path, I find a lot of similarities in our story, and I would LOVE to have a heart-to-heart with you sometime and see how we can combine forces.)

Alix (Durgananda Saraswati)

New Moon Ritual: Short n’ Sweet



New Moon tonight (exact at 23:56 in Geneva)!!

The new Moon is an auspicious time for the magic of beginnings, for supercharging and launching intentions, for recharging goals, or setting new ones.

Take a moment today to become still and connect with the power that the light-candlecomplete balance between waning and waxing holds. As you light a candle, bring into sharp focus ONE intention for this next moon cycle. Sit in front of the candle and hold the flame in your gaze for a few minutes. Then close the eyes and focus on bright image of the flame that remains in the dark space behind the eyes. Bring this image more and more into focus, concentrating ONLY on that.

Complete your ritual by splashing some cold water over the eyes and face, and perhaps take a quick walk around the block or do a few yoga postures to activate the flow of energy.

❤ Alix

My confession of deepest anger….


CONFESSIONMy Confession: I get upset and angry when people have more love, respect, and admiration for a given master or saint than for their own selves. This reaction comes from a refusal to accept the ignorance that prevents people from seeing that everyone is just as divine as everyone else and that saints have gained sainthood not because of anything that makes them special more than the circumstances of the planets and aspects affording a great amount of devotion, discipline, dedication, and perhaps even affluence and familial status. 

I even get upset when people commend me for my work, because deep down inside I know as well that all the will power that I have is actually as well coming from my own circumstances of planetary alignment. I even feel upset when people tell me that I am special for the very rare “accomplishments” that I have “made” in my life… because I see the whole illusion of choice and will.

In fact I get upset when I see people regarding enlightenment as if it were some state that is attainable by only a special few who have been chosen, because enlightenment is here and now, and the only criteria it takes to be enlightened is to wake up from this ignorance that makes any one person see fundamentally more special than another.

Of course, on a superficial level we are all separated in the world of form. But when we look beyond this to the most absolute, complete, and true level of the self, we see that the only choice is the ONE choice that has put all of this charade en route. It is the ONE’S will power that has caused the division of the ONE self into fragments, each one as worthy of love and affection as each other.